Don't call me, I'll call you (Regards, Baz)

Baz Luhrmann has announced he will not work with Nicole Kidman again because of her over-botoxed face and massive lips.  Actually that's not quite true, but it's probably most of the reason. He also admits the controversial movie Australia has been difficult to market, and that executives at 20th Century Fox were having problems targetting audiences because of its mix of slapstick comedy and intense drama.

Luhrmann said that working with Nicole causes too many "life-transforming things" to happen. Such as her breaking up with Tom Cruise, and his father dying, on the first day of filming Moulin Rouge. While filming the flop Australia, he said "six weeks before we finished filming, we were doing a scene where her character has to say she can't have children and she goes, 'Bazzy, Bazzy, I've got to see you,' and we sit down under a tree and she tells me she's pregnant and she burst into tears and I did, too, because I knew that was what she wanted more than anything else. We both said we can't make another movie together because there are only so many life-transforming events we can go through."

Yeah right, Baz ... we believe you, thousands wouldn't! I am sure the real reasons you don't want to work with her again is because Fox Studios are giving you a hard time, and Nicole's acting just keeps attracting bad reviews. Not to mention the difficulty cinema-goers, like me, had watching those huge lips for 2 hr45 mins.

So how does Nicole react to all this? She just says that she is holding back from movies for awhile, and would rather enjoy time-out on the farm with husband and daughter. Do you believe her? Of course not, she loves being in the public eye. However, if no-one is offering her movie roles, does she really have a choice?  I believe what Nicole meant to say is: "I need a break from botox and plastic surgery because I am starting not to recognise myself when I look in the mirror. Just last week I screamed at what I saw! I'm taking my doctor's advice to take time-out, and learn to age gracefully. I'm sorry for the bad movies I've made, but I had to earn money to pay the plastic surgeon. See you in 6 months time, if I can last that long without the attention I so desperately crave. Cheers, Nic"

Ahead of its UK release next week, the English critics continue to jump on the bandwagon with their bad reviews. For example, Film Reviewer Nick Curtis said while the movie offers audiences shots of "devastating natural grandeur'', it still manages to feel phony. "Sarah is not so much a character as a showcase for Kidman's worst acting tics, all her prissy pouts and expressions of `Botoxed' startlement,'' he wrote. "And despite a wardrobe designed to offset her Barbie-perfect bosom, bottom and ironing-board hips, she has mutated into a curiously sexless screen presence.''  Nick rated the film 2 out of 5. 

Don't forget to vote on whether Nicole should retire on the right of this Blog. Only a few days left. We will send results to her Agent soon thereafter.