"Nickers, we forgot about the choppers!"

"Oh Nicole, that dirt hill idea of yours was stupid! We forgot to block out the sky!"

"Oh Keith, put it back! The Easter egg hunt is for the kids!"

After the Airport Easter photo charade last week, Nicole and Keith headed to their Bunya Hill homestead to catch up with family and check out renovations - including the dirt wall erected to block out prying eyes. Unfortunately, the Kurbans forgot to block out the sky, because the Paparazzi in helicopters had other ideas.  Nicole is probably now organising to have the property completely covered with a huge sail. Believe it or not, there are times our Gran doesn't like to be photographed.

Looks like Sunday had some fun on the Easter egg hunt (bottom photo). What is really nice to see is Nicole wearing casual clothing that is not all black. Even the black cap gets a break now (perhaps someone pulled it off her head at the Airport and wouldn't give it back!).  I'm quite liking the new brown cap, I have to say.

Keith ducks for cover on Good Friday in Oz

Above are photos of Nicole arriving in Australia on Good Friday more than willing to show baby Sunday Rose off to the Paparazzi. Sometimes its advisable to give the Paps what they want, then they might leave you alone. Apparently Keith ducked for cover which doesn't make sense. His fan base is not that big here.  Or did he just move out of the way because Nicole hogs the cameras?  Mmmm, I think we know the right answer, folks.

As mentioned on this Blog a couple of weeks ago, the purpose of this Kurban visit is to check out renovations on their Bunya Hill Homestead and to see if the dirt hill has subsided after recent heavy rains.  

Nicole to take credit for No.1 Album?

Keith Urban's new album Defying Gravity recently hit No. 1 on the Billboard Rock Charts. This is quite an achievement considering the commercial failure of his previous album Love, Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing.  Keith continues to show gratitude to Gran at his performances and several of the new songs are rumoured to be tributes to her. Afterall, Gran helped him sober up and seek help by entering rehab within months of their marriage. Don't be surprised if Nicole publicly takes credit for this album. You may hear something along the lines of:

"Without me, Keith would have lost all his creative juices and his ability to write songs with ghostwriters. Before I came along, his career was becoming boring and he was into drugs and booze. I saved him, I even showed him how to wear a suit and look like a gentleman. This new album is really all about me, even down to the title. That is why it is No. 1."

iPhone Baby

Nicole spent most of the ACM 2009 After-Party flashing her iPhone photos of Sunday to anybody who would look.  The mother who claimed she would never show her baby to the world, has once again proven that she can't remember anything she says. Oh well, she's a proud Mum we guess.  In between showing photos, Nicole is understood to have enjoyed a glass or ten of white wine.  

George Strait Tribute: Baby Bump or 'Kidman Tummy'?

And then more of the usual poses ...

There has been a fair bit of speculation lately that Nicole may be pregnant again because she has been sporting a bump in recent photos. At the 2009 ACM Awards the other day, Nicole and her pet Orang-Utang could hardly stop smiling for the cameras (see here). Don't be fooled by those smiles as these two are famous for their camera poses and pretend laughs. There was also speculation that Nicole was pregnant when she attended the Australia premiere in Sydney last November. At that time, Nicole proclaimed she wasn't pregnant and that the bump was simply the Kidman belly that "all the Kidman women have".

The thing is, Nicole loves to wear these figure hugging dresses to deliberatelyemphasise this Kidman belly to spark pregnancy rumours - for attention. But is she pregnant again? Was she ever pregnant? Do you know that cushions are quite versatile? If I stuck a cushion under my top, would you all be saying I was pregnant or that I ate too much Kentucky Fried Chicken?

The above photos taken at the 'George Strait Tribute' this week also reveal a very Drag Queenish looking Nicole with her stark white skin and her hair down. Trust me Nicole, you look better with your hair up. Some women in their 40's suit long hair or extensions, you don't.

Keith meets Miley at ACM Awards 2009

After the usual poses with camera-hogging wife Nicole at Sunday night's ACM Awards (see following post or click here), Keith then did a quick costume change out of his ridiculous suit into jeans and jacket. He then boot-scooted around the venue getting his photo taken with other 'stars'. We found this great photo of Keith with Miley Ray Cyrus. 

Keith, I know its embarrassing to be photographed with a young pop starlet like Miley, but you can't hide behind those sunglasses and stick-on goatee.  Those hair highlights and extensions give you away EVERY TIME!

Orang-Utang escorts Nicole to ACM Awards 2009

Click on above image to see Orang-Utang more clearly

Nicole Kidman left Keith Urban at home to attend the 2009 American Country Music Awards (ACM) last night with her pet Orang-Utang.

Seriously, Keith's skin looks so orange these days, I wish he would lay off the spray-on tan (or whatever procedure he uses). Don't you just love the way people whose skin is a little worse for wear go down this path! What exactly is Keith trying to hide? Ah, probably years of substance abuse.

Nicole arrived dressed in a backless number designed to show off her lily white skin and to prove that while she loves Botox, she does not love spray on tans. Oh, by the way, Keith has been nominated for "Entertainer of the Year" and "Best Behaved Zoo Animal".

"No more Botox for me"

Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame has revealed her dislike for Botox, after experiencing the negative sides of it. We offer Stevie's words of wisdom for keen users of this rat poison, such as Granny Freeze:

Stevie Nicks said ...

"I had Botox and I hated it. For four long months, I looked like a different person. It almost brought down the whole production of the last tour. It was so bad, I would look into the mirror and burst into tears. Botox is becoming the new face of beauty and it’s unfortunate because it makes everybody look like Satan’s children. Everybody has pointed eyebrows. Everybody looks related. All the Desperate Housewives look like sisters. If you’re an unattractive girl who’s trying to be beautiful with Botox, forget it. If you are a beautiful girl who’s trying to be beautiful with Botox, you will look like you’re angry all the time. You’d have to tie me down to get me to do it again."

Easter Bunny Comes Early To Australia

Us very lucky Aussies can expect Mr and Mrs Urbanski any day now when they arrive for an Easter vacation, and to inspect recent renovations to their Bunya Hill mansion. This mansion, also known as a vile display of wealth, will accommodate the Urbans and their Sydney relations during the chocolate eating season. If any Sutton Forrest locals feel like a peep at Nicole on her Easter egg hunt around the homestead, just remember to climb the newly erected dirt hill that is aimed at keeping prying eyes out.  You won't need hiking boots as the wall is apparently only one metre high. Once you reach the summit, listen out for the new Keith CD playing (if Nicole allows this to be played).

You may remember an earlier post where their were murmurs that Nicole had given this homestead to sister Antonia to live in/rent (click here to see). Antonia is a keen horse rider, and apparently wants a quieter life style for herself and children. You may be surprised to learn that Antonia is not an attention seeker like others we know.

On behalf of the Easter Bunny, Australia would like to thank Nicole and Keith for visiting our shores this Easter.  We missed you when you quickly fled the country after the Australia premiere. We can't wait to catch up at the Sutton Forrest Tea House to discuss Keith's new CD, Nicole's ginger ale commercial, and her possible new roller-girl attendant career. 

Nicole, I've already phoned Jacki and Kyle, so there is no need for you to ring them tomorrow morning OK?

Most overpaid actor gets a Woody

It has been reported today that Nicole Kidman has signed on for an upcoming, yet untitled, Woody Allen film. Apparently other cast members include Josh Brolin, Naomi Watts, Antonia Banderas, Anthony Hopkins and Freida Pinto.  

There are some impressive names in there.  Some of these actors may not have signed their contracts yet, and may even pull out when they realise a certain person, who was titled the most overpaid actor last year, has joined the cast. A person whose last seven films have been flops and is also known as box office poison. Perhaps Woody feels sorry for this person, or hasn't kept up to date with her lack of talent. Perhaps Woody is only planning to give her a small part as an extra. Still, there may be no film at all.  Naomi might stick around seeing as though she is 'best friends' with this person. But you know what is strange about all this? Nicole Kidman in a Woody Allen film. Just doesn't seem right, does it. Most of his films are quite classy, like Annie Hall, Hannah and her Sisters, and Alice.  You may wish to think more about this, Woody. It's not too late, perhaps.

When movies flop, try overseas commercials

Nicole arrived in Jaipur, India yesterday (above far left) to begin filming a commercial for a sparkling water/ginger ale company.  The commercial will be directed by Sir Ridley Scott, known for films such as Alien and Blade Runner. Nicole jumped at the chance to do some work since discovering that early retirement and trying to fit into the Nashville community wasn't as much fun as she first thought. 

Early reports said Nicole arrived in India to begin filming "The Eighth Wonder", an Indiana Jones type adventure film.  This was probably a deliberate error to remind everyone that Nicole's 'own' production company plan to make this title one day. There was some talk of this title last year, but if you check IMDB there is no real mention of it anymore.  A pity really, I think it would be fun to see the Ice Queen running through jungles with stilettos, wigs and no dirt on her. In other words, I can't imagine her playing an Indiana Jones type role, can you?

Nicole has dabbled in commercials before, starting with the Chanel commercial, and then recently Nintendo. You may recall Chanel ended their contract with Nicole in 2007 - possibly when the botox allegations hit fever pitch.  Nicole's return to commercials could mean that she is trying different ways to get noticed again. What happened to the lady who was desperate to have a baby and stay home and make goat cheese? 

Joining Nicole for this commercial will be Bollywood star Arjun Rampal. Apparently India is ecstatic to have Nicole on their shores. That's the interesting thing about places like India,China and Japan. They go GOO GAA over Hollywood stars even when they are box office poison back home. 

Rollergirl Nic

Nicole is continuing in her effort to be part of the Nashville community, and was seen at the Nashville Rollergirls Bout at the Fairgrounds last Saturday night (see above photo). She was also there to learn some tips. Why? To pick up other types of work since the acting offers have died off. Some Nashville fast food drive-in joints are expecting to bring back rollergirl service to patrons, and Nicole is believed to be getting her Resume ready. In times of recession, people cannot always be too picky with their careers, can they! "Would you like ketchup with that, Sir?"

Nanny's Day Off

Good to see Nicole has got over the "you can't see my baby" routine and is happy to be photographed with Sunday Rose more often now. Or is it because it is Nanny's day off and Nicole had a hair appointment with no choice but to bring Sunday along? Whatever the reason, it's good to see the baby getting lots of fresh air on an outing with Mum this week in Nashville. And yes, the black gym gear gets an outing too. Also spotted out and about with baby son this week was Australia's classically trained actress Cate Blanchette, in Perth, Western Australia. See bottom right photo.
So, tell me ... who does Sunday look more like now? Keith, Nicole or Antonia?

Smoking, drinking & plastic surgery mixed into one

Isn't it amazing how stars think they can have their cake and eat it too. Many of them smoke and drink for years and damage their skin in the process, but think that plastic surgery/botox will hide it all. Remember years ago when Melanie Griffith was the Revlon lady? Back then she had some airbrushing help for that venture, but suddenly things really started to catch up with her looks. She is a classic example of how plastic surgery cannot hide years of substance abuse. Melanie is a big smoker and drinker, and is well known for going under the knife (possibly in an attempt to keep fellow smoking hubby Antonio Banderas from roaming). As the photos reveal, plastic surgery just can't hide it anymore!  A certain Madam living in Nashville may wish to take note of Melanie's sad experience. Or is it too late?