Thursday, May 28, 2009

'Kidman Tummy' on show again

Some of the world media are once again claiming Nicole is pregnant after she stepped out on Wednesday night in a red nightie - revealing a tummy or bump. 

How often do they need to be reminded that it's more likely the 'Kidman tummy' that is on display ... the one all the Kidman women have.  Nicole, you must learn to suck in when the Paps are watching you! 

Friday, May 22, 2009

"Nine" gets some things right

More news from the upcoming film NINE is that Nicole will be singing some songs. Nicole has done it before in 2001 for Moulin Rouge and also a duet with Robbie Williams.  We're not saying she's a brilliant singer, but we've heard alot worse.

In the movie NINE, Nicole is almost suitably cast as an 'ageing sexbomb' who chases after Daniel Day-Lewis. They got the 'ageing' part right, but the 'sexbomb' part? This should be 'vixen'.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Nicole dumps Woody

Lady Nicole has apparently quit the new Woody Allen film this week after learning how to read a script and not liking what she read.  A replacement is yet to be announced.

See if you can pick the other reason why Nicole left the project:
  1. Nicole was not prepared to take a small part against best friend Naomi's meatier part.
  2. Nicole would rather tag along on Keith's tour for the rest of the year to keep an eye on him.
  3. Nicole is pregnant and has dreadful morning sickness.
  4. The other cast members had refused to work with Nicole because they were worried her name would mean the film would flop. 
  5. Keith demanded that Nicole keep to her promise of retiring from making movies. Frankly the world has had enough of her movies ... therefore Keith is right to demand this.
Perhaps you may have a better reason.  Good news is, the world is now a better place because there will be one less Kidman movie to flop.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Keith's Tour Underway: No Fun Allowed

Keith Urban's latest tour has well and truly started. The tour bus is all fired up, and has even been modified and lengthened to include private quarters to accommodate Nicole and Sunday (who plan to tag along for portions of the journey). The tour will see Keith busy right up until the end of the year, at least. 

Keith has already been besieged by groupies and the temptation of after-concert parties. Luckily with Nicole on board, there will be no chance of Keith enjoying himself too much, or too hard.  

No Australian dates have yet been confirmed. Apparently this is because the huge tour bus will not fit on the plane.   Bummer, I was so looking forward to jumping on stage and singing "I thank you, I thank you, for NOT being my wife!"

Thursday, May 7, 2009

WARNING! The most stupid commercial ever! Wait for the cut version!

Nicole's Ginger Ale commercial was released this week on various websites.  This is the commercial that Nicole recently made in India with the 'Slumdog Millionaire' girl for Indian audiences. It was directed by Ridley Scott and makes no sense!  It tries to be cute too, but is really just another cringe-worthy Kidman project. 

View the complete uncut commercial here.  Warning! Have a bucket ready! The commercial is truly vomit inducing.

The cut version of the commercial, which completely removes Nicole Kidman, makes much more sense!  It will be available very soon because apparently Ginger Ale sales in India have crashed since the uncut commercial was released.  

Nicole now gets an additional label. Not only is she 'Box Office Poison', but also 'TV Poison' (well, in India anyway). 

Monday, May 4, 2009

Keith Urban: "We love Oz but get no privacy"

"The kangaroos and kookaburras are too noisy, and won't leave us alone!"

"We live in Australia because the Kurbans don't. It gives us peace and quiet!"
Clockwise from top: Cate Blanchette, Guy Pearce, Judy Davis, Toni Collette, Eric Bana and Russell Crowe

It's usually Nicole who says she loves Australia but simply can't live or spend too much time here because the paparazzi invade her every move.  Now Keith is saying similar in an April interview with the Sunday Telegraph Magazine. An excerpt from the interview about this issue is below:

"Within my art, I will speak about what I want to speak about, but that's not the same as someone shoving a camera lens in your face when you're at the beach. I don't get it in Nashville, which is one of the many reasons we love being there. But we love being in Australia too, but it's a bit of that intrusiveness that sometimes keeps us from spending time in places we'd like to be."

Keith - don't forget that you were once able to roam Australia freely without anyone bothering you before you became Mr Nicole Kidman. You brought all of this on yourself. You were largely unknown in this country; your fan base was almost non-existent. You are now famous by association (just like Nicole was when she was married to Tom).  You may have forgotten that your wife actually encourages the paparazzi when she is Australia. That's right. She'll ring up radio stations telling them she is in town and ask everyone to leave her alone. 

Keith - as this Blog has stated before, many Australian actors choose to live in Australia and do so comfortably (see their photo's above). You rarely see their names and photos in the papers here. They do not seek out attention.  Their pictures and names are provided so you can call them if you need any ideas on how to achieve a comfortable visit here, or a future permanent stay.  

Keith - we do understand that you need to live in Nashville for your music career. We also understand that Nicole would get bored living in Australia again, and the Paps would get bored with her fast too. Australia is too far from the big overseas parties and opportunities that your darling Nicole loves.   

It's all OK though! You can change your minds when your parents get older and need you more. Not to mention the lonely alpacas you bought at Easter for the Bunya Hill homestead - they are awaiting your next visit.  Come home soon!